Deep Thoughts While Watching Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood

*POTTY MOUTH DISCLAIMER: These are unfiltered thoughts. My inner monologue swears like a sailor. Actually, I just swear like a sailor. So fair warning.*

MC is absolutely obsessed with Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. She will drop everything and run over if she hears the theme song playing. We also use Daniel Tiger to bribe her into eating, changing her clothes, etc. Did you know that you can find 7 seasons of full episodes available to stream on Amazon if you have Prime? Because once I found that out, it was a game changer. MC also knows how to get to the Prime Video app on my phone, open it up, and start an episode of Daniel Tiger all by herself. Yikes.

So with that being said, I have watched every single episode of all 7 seasons of Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood at least 2-3 times. I know every song (“when something seems bad, turn it around and find something good”) and can name every single character. I’m slaying the Daniel Tiger game.

Since I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time getting intimately acquainted to the neighborhood, I’ve had a lot of thoughts cross my mind. For your viewing pleasure, I’ve documented a list of them below:

  1. Prince Wednesday is a little shit.
  2. Trolly probably is thinking “I’m the backbone of this neighborhood you assholes” every time he has to transport one of the characters.
  3. Mom and Dad Tiger are the most patient parents I have ever encountered.
  4. It’s kind of weird that the Tiger family only eats veggies. Are they reformed tigers?
  5. What’s the deal with the royal family?
  6. Also, why does Prince Tuesday have odd jobs in the neighborhood? He’s over there tending horses at the farm and being a waiter in the restaurant. Isn’t he the heir? Why do they favor Prince Wednesday who literally dressed up as a rock for ‘Dress Up Day.’ The kingdom is doomed if the throne goes to Prince Wednesday.
  7. Why does O the Owl live with his uncle? His uncle sounds like a pedophile. Also O the Owl’s sensitivity to sounds is weird and he exhibits a lot of signs and symptoms of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
  8. Why are there no asians in the neighborhood?
  9. Oh shit, are they implying that the Tiger family are the asians?! But if that were the case, Mom Tiger would not be ok with Daniel’s mediocrity. He definitely would be able to read by now. Also, he wouldn’t have so many play dates with his friends, and definitely would not be sleeping over at his friends’ houses if they were asian…
  10. How has a disease not wiped out this neighborhood?
  11. Why does Dad Tiger have such a useless job and how is he supporting a family of 4? His job at the clock factory reminds me of Charlie Bucket’s Dad’s job screwing on lids of toothpaste in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
  12. Why are we calling her Miss Elena? What makes her so damn special? It adds an air of pettiness by putting Miss in front of her name. Also, stop with the “Toots.”
  13. Why is Grandpere French? Where’s Grandmere? IMHO, I think Grandpere needs to come to terms with his sexuality…
  14. Teacher Harriet? Are you kidding me? Who didn’t immediately pick up on what PBS was putting down? I’ll just leave this here.
  15. In all 7 seasons it has only ever snowed once. Where the hell do they live that it only snows once every 7 years?
  16. They just neglect Baby Margaret and frequently allow her to play unsupervised, or have Daniel and his friends watch her which is a great idea because Daniel’s a really mature and responsible 3 year old.
  17. LOL, MC just fastforwarded through the “Let’s see what our neighbors are doing” section because she wants to get back to the cartoon parts.
  18. Was there some sort of rhyme or reason for the Human to Talking Animal ratio?
  19. What’s the hierarchy of animals? Who decided which animals would become anthropomorphized versus those that would retain normal animal characteristics? Basically, why the hell is Katarina Kitty Kat somehow better than Snowball the Bunny?
  20. Wow this is such garbage. This might actually be teaching MC bad habits.
  21. PBS couldn’t have paid voice actors who could actually sing a little better? I get they’re trying to be memorable and relatable, but some of these characters are tone deaf.
  22. Oh my god, I need to go do something intellectually stimulating. I shouldn’t be having so many existential questions while watching Daniel Tiger. Obviously my brain is not being challenged.
  23. Where’s Mr. Kitty Kat? They’re trying to represent all family types of having this single mom, but there are no asians and no same sex couples…
  24. Prince Wednesday, we get it. You’re royal. No need to say everything is “royally” something. You little shit.
  25. Oh they’ve introduced a handicapable character. And yet, still no asians.

Sigh. This is my life now. So…“I’ll be back, when the day is new. And I’ll have more ideas for you. And you’ll have things you’ll want to talk about. I will too. Because I love you. Ugga Mugga.”