Public v. Private

When I was pregnant, my favorite past-time as to scroll through instagram looking at all these perfectly put together babies. They had matching outfits with cute little bows, and adorable little shoes. Then when I found out I was having a girl I couldn’t stop looking at little dresses and mommy and me matching outfits. I was so naive. I thought I was going to have the best dressed baby and be thoughtful about her outfits.

That was until I experienced a newborn diaper blowout. If you’ve never experienced one first hand, it is unlike anything in the world. There’s a reason why it’s called a blowout. Because your tiny little 6lb baby somehow manages to poop so much that it actually blows out past her diaper, up her back, down her legs, somehow ends up in her hair, and also all over anything within 3 feet of her. It’s disgustingly impressive.

So what ended up happening is MC wore cheap onesies that come in those huge packs for probably the first 3 months of her life because I was tired of trying to get stains out of her cute outfits. So roughly 9 months of prepping and coordinating outfits went down the drain. I was actually so unprepared for ditching my initial plans that I didn’t have enough onesies that were practical and actually fit MC, that the day after I came home from the hospital, my mom actually did an emergency run to Carter’s and grabbed me some onesies so the baby wouldn’t just be naked underneath her swaddle. (Which honestly wouldn’t have been a disaster since MC is a summer baby.)

Every month my friends and family looked forward to these little monthly chalkboard drawings I did to document MC’s growth. I’m not going to lie, they started to become exhausting. After month 4 I was tapped out for which animal I should draw on there. Also, I had to take roughly 28 pictures just to get one of her smiling. Looking back on it, while I love the monthly updates, I don’t know if the added stress and anxiety was worth it…

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The pictures above were taken 1 second apart. (She’s only smiling because we bribed her with fruit snacks.) But, which pic did I post on instagram? The one of her smiling.

A lot of humans show the good, but rarely show the ugly. Honestly, I gave myself a lot of anxiety by comparing my life to others. Everyone seemed so shiny and perfect. Their kids never had a dirty face or mismatched socks, and I felt like my life and family in comparison was a disaster. So, I don’t want you to think that’s the type of person I am. That’s not what this community is about.

So there it is. We show a different side of ourselves publicly v. privately, and regardless of who/what you choose to be, let’s just all be genuine – you beautiful human.

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